Journey of Views

Light at the end of the Tunnel

2012-02-08T16:09:00.000-08:00

Sorry it has been ages since my last post.

I moved last year from a small Scottish island back to a small rural town in Suffolk East Anglia to take on the leadership of an established church.

It has been much harder work than I thought it would be.

And on top of this I am doing a part time degree in Environmental Studies with a university so find myself often working into the night just to complete church admin and catching up with friends never mind having the time to keep up with my blog.

However, I now travel to London once a month, as I have been seconded to help plan National Men’s Conferences for the organisation I work for. And travelling on the train gives me time to think and consider like again.

Last week I travelled on two different express trains and was lucky to travel in first class for some of the way.

All my trains were severely delayed because of a track side fire.

I ended up travel about 100 miles out of my way in order to get another train to London.

What interested me is that I started up conversations with two men which started because of the delays, and we began sharing our experiences of travel, how early we had got up in the morning, and what we thought of the train service.

It is often the way you can sit in the same train carriage with 75 other people and until the train is delayed you have nothing in common to share with them. In our lives we become so caught up in our own issues, chores and roles that we cease the desire to share our experiences with people.

The two others guys and I had a few different conversations but on arrival at our destination were lost in the crowd as we ran to our various tube trains.

The church becomes like this also, so entrenched with its own issues it becomes a thing and forgets to be alive, I came by this story in my notes earlier today, still makes me smile!

One day in a small village near Edinburgh a priest was walking around his parish with his clerical clothes on.

There were two boys stood around two bikes and they called out to the priest “Oi don’t suppose you could stop being a priest for 5 minutes and give us a hand could you said the boys”. The priest crossed the street.

When he arrived he found the chain and broken on one of the bikes and needed to be fixed.

So he knelt on the pavement and found the problem, much to the amazement of the two kids and repaired the chain.

When he finished they apologised to him that he now had black oil all over his hands. The priest said its ok I can fix that, he picked up some dirt and scrubbed it all over his hands, then addressed the boys and said do you know where I can find some water?

Yeah said the boys we live round the corner come with us they said.

So the three of them marched right into the kitchen of the house to the surprise of their mum, who was asked to mind out the way so the priest could wash his hands.

The priest thanked them for letting him wash his hands in their home, he turned to leave as the water had restored his hands to spotless purity.

Then the boy’s mother asked the priest if he would like to stay for tea.

We are living in a culture at the moment which doesn’t feel that the church has anything to offer it except when we stop doing church the way we have been doing it, “Oi don’t suppose you could stop being a priest for 5 minutes and give us a hand could you”

People who don’t believe in God are not coming over to our side of the street “the Christian side”.

Unless the church, my new church included finds a way to bridge the gap, then we may as well stop catching the trains and stay at home, and block up the windows, as the light comes in for a reason

Turning Points

2012-01-02T16:10:00.000-08:00

Turning points what do they mean to you?

I know where I used to live......many of the roads ended in a dead ends, but at the end of a single track road there was always a turning point for large vehicles or cars which had either not meant to go down that road or needed to come back.

The two words turning point are used in warfare to mark a particular point in history where within a war enough has happened for one side to obtain enough of a foothold or bridge head to launch their operations and go on to win the fight.

It could also mean a boyfriend and girlfriend reaching a point in their relationship where it is seen to be a good idea to continue or the right time to slip away.

What does it mean to you?

I know I have not written recently, and that is due to many reasons, mostly lack of time and tiredness, I have seen many things and thought a great deal about them but attending the needs of my family or a recently bereaved widow have got to come first.

Since making the move from Shetland to Beccles, I have been thwart with mixed emotions. Truly I have been bereaved of a way of life that meant so much to me, that I could truly relate to and where I experienced unbeatable joys but hellish lows.

It has been almost like having a soul tie with the Island.

Where deep friendships were born and live.

Where the survival of life continues against the weather and isolation.

Where music was made, and melody of the heart was scored.

And yet

I often tell others of the God I believe in, to be one who moves.

Who gives and takes away.

Who brings changes necessary to growth and fulfilment.

Who asks his people to try a new way or sing a new song.

And yet....

I had become to enjoy this life, this place this people.

Who would not.

When you have found comfort why bother to move on to something that does not caress the notes of your soul?

I worship and live by a saviour who I have often told others has their best interests at heart, and with that he might he choose the next melody on the manuscript of life.

Now then (Yorkshire Phrase)

I had not forgotten that, and I had asked to move. I had forgotten about my Saviour who moves.

There was another thing..... I could not work with my boss, I could not serve him any longer with integrity knowing that there is no way I could respect him and his views.

My Doctor said move or resign, you do not deserve this.

Moving meant the risk of being sent somewhere we could be harmed again.

I cannot work with people who cannot take risks.

I struggle with people who I cannot follow.

I also struggle with people that I gladly follow.

And so

And so.....

I am sat in a church last Sunday and I listen to friends sharing their hearts, their experience of change and their amazing faith in their Saviour that they serve with love.

And I hear this person say “Did you know, it is us who decides when we are afraid or excited about something...adrenaline is released and we decide to fight or flight”

I sit there in silence for a moment.

I realise the gift around me that God has so richly blessed me with.

I see the saviour who I gave my life over to.

I see the saviour who is the cornerstone of the church his bride.

I see my saviour who I have often told others has their best interests at heart, but may choose the next melody on the manuscript of life with his ideas of structure and not mine.

And here I understand the reason of leaving Shetland.

I had become comfortable in my poverty.

I had done everything I could for my saviour in that place.

And now.

And now........

Jesus was asking me to change to a new melody, perhaps with the same soprano line and bass line, but a different tenor.

Jesus started to speak to me.

He tells me,

I will not take away your memories.

I will not dissolve your friendships.

You can still go back and see that place, but I now want you somewhere else.

Where you can be my hands and my feet.

I want you somewhere which is good for you, and good for them.

The other thing I heard someone say is this “If you never try you will never no”.

The person who said those things of course was me.

Last Sunday was my turning point.

There is still ground to be won, battles to be fought, planting and healing to take place, but the corner is turned and there is much work to be done.

On top of all this I had a phone call today from an lady I know, it was her that inspired me to join serve others needs, and her that helped me find a job working for the homeless. She showed me His hands and His feet also.

She told me she had been praying for the right place for when we left the Islands.

This reminded me of a great friend who told me before we knew where we were going that God had something very special for us.

Last Sunday God showed me just how special.

Although there will still be tough days ahead I have some good people to start the next movement of melody with and the promise that the scribe has my best interests at heart.

There is still ground to be won, but the corner is turned. And I am where he wants me to be, and I will settle into this new country with his help.

A very Happy New year to you all, I hope to write more regularly this year

Old mates

2011-10-23T14:03:00.001-07:00

Just a quick post tonight to say i have not forgotten the blog, just writing some stuff up for publishing this week

Struggling with my Identity

2011-10-08T12:58:00.000-07:00

My post today is some ramblings going on in my mind, they may make sense or not

I am currently on holiday in the North Yorkshire Moors one of the national parks within Britain. The scenery is breathtaking, mists rising from the forests, the moorland, cows holding up the traffic walking to the milking sheds, a rich tapestry of colour in the hedgerows, pheasants, bunnies, the berries on trees and the fruits of a year that nature could be proud of.

Before I went on holiday my wife and son moved 870 miles from a small island called Shetland to a small Community in Suffolk England to minister to a new community. It is a town which doesnt appear very unified between churches (might be wrong mind) which is such a shame, but it is a town that from the outside looks posh, lovely and without problems. And yet under the surface there are cracks, people hurting, people crying out for healing, people trying to find is anyone cares for them, and a question I keep asking myself and others is how accessible is the church, and is the church what God wants for his people (those who don’t know him yet)?

Or has the church got confused and is mostly being an end to itself lining its own pockets?

I am not saying this is my church or any church in particular but how do we show people the real love that Jesus has for them, the one that does not condemn or hate or gossip.....and you know I am still working through what I think that means...and to do that comes from knowing our identity of who we really are.

Many Christians or people who call themselves Christians judge others harshly because they don’t understand the full reality of being a child of God’s. They don’t understand and are still trying to compute what truth and love really means. And the reason I know that is that was me several years ago forgetting the in this world of darkness the light spreads where it is shown not where it is spoken about.

This holiday has been really fun, slightly expensive on fuel but good to see friends, to see family, to meet new people as well as meet up with the old, to yarn (chat for a while) and think about life as it was in the past and what we have learnt from it.
A part from the days out on steam trains, coffee walking in the rain I have been wondering about life and thinking about things.

Before we went...a friend of mine rang to tell me he had got a job I have always wanted...an RAF Chaplain I was quite distraught about the whole thing, but over the days and weeks as I have reflected on it I have realised why I am never going to be picked for something like that. I struggle to follow the simplest of orders at times, and my church would be worried that i might say something out of place, but as I went on I realised there is something deeper here, God is asking me to go for a walk with him, a walk that is personal between the good he has set aside me for already and that I am willing to give up for him.

It is only when we start to work through some of life’s issues that are hitting at our cores that we start to see who we are and where our place is, and that each of us is on a deeply spiritual journey, but in order to keep moving we must work with the guide to uncover how the next steps feel and what they are. If I eat more humbly I could save money for those who cannot afford food at all, but this means giving up something that I will feel the punch of.
Lastly I have realised that in order to understand and change the church from a judgemental institution to the bride of Christ then the transformation and transparency needs to start with me, I need to stop being worried about what others might think and worry what God will think

The Coming of Age....

2011-09-20T03:55:00.000-07:00

What sort of images come to mind when we think of "Coming of Age"

21st Birthday?

16 years old....allowed to get married?

18 years old...allowed to drink alcohol?

25 years old...cheaper car insurance?

I am sure yours will be different to mine

This last year this line "The Coming of Age...." has been masked by another word...responsibility.

Responsibility is about something that we do when we reach a level in our lives that we have the skills and knowledge to be accountable for something.

Most adults hate the word as they remember their parents saying "Grow up and take some responsibility"!

When Jesus says this
Luke 9:23

Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.

To me I felt Jesus lead me to those words and say coming of age as a christian, yes is responsibility but a practical example is denying yourself and taking up your cross and following me.

It is so easy to hide behind life and not realise that when we understand our committment to Jesus He epects some maturity from us, stop moaning and start walking.

If you dont understand your committment then you need to get someone to pray with you and you need to revist the cross otherwise picking up your cross is going to be something you will not be able to sustain. It means that you will never come of age as a Chritian and experience the highs, lows and miricles of being a follower of the king. You will just be stuck in one massive low which will wear you down till you quit.

My son is asleep on my shoulder, and am typing with one finger however the coming of age doesnt mean going alone, without those needed times of embrace, like sleeping on dad, a phrase I heard this week really fits in here...... It was from a man who was telling me the secret of a long and happy marriage, he said "I had to learn to start thinking 'WE' not 'ME'.

Jesus wants to live in us, for us around us, but its not all him and no us, he wants friends, people he can trust and know they love him as much in return.

Coming of Age....coming of an age where Jesus starts working through you in ways you had only dreamed could be possible

The men are coming tomorrow

2011-07-19T05:35:00.000-07:00

Well there is last minute packing going on today as the removal chaps are coming tomorrow so its all systems go.

Hair cuts this afternoon and another flippin uni essay

2011-07-17T16:50:00.000-07:00

Wow what a night, a very personal farewell from our lovely little church tonight, heart felt love and gratitude for serving them and the wider community. It has been an amazing privilege to have worked alongside others in trying to change the thinking of what church actually is and how it functions, you might think already that churches function how they are told to, but I think this is a common error, as churches are supposed to be the body of Christ and therefore listen to what the head says, not what the elbow says.

Going to miss our brothers and sisters, the saved and those who dont know freedom.

Thanks friends

How big is your ocean?

2011-07-16T16:56:00.000-07:00

Tonight my son was in the bath standing up, as now he can walk I think he has decided sitting down is for wimps. He was playing with is seaside bucket and a little windup flipping fish that the midwife who delivered him brought (we got ice cream)!
Any how he put the flipping action fish into his seaside bucket and looked at it and it became a big fish in a small ocean, he then threw it back into the bath sadly colliding with the taps and become three separate pieces of fish that are presently sitting in my pocket waiting for locktite super glue.
I was captivated by the question how big is your ocean?
In a small bucket the ocean is fairly small, in the bath tub it is much bigger.
When Jesus called the fishermen at the sea shore he called them to become fishers of men (people) there is an implication in his request that is the fishers of people won’t be isolated to the local community but to all, both far and wide. They will need to be prepared to fish in waters unknown to them.
If Jesus’ words had been aimed and purely the local community we may have thought God was trying to contain his presence to one place, and be a presence that was to be isolated for the select only.
God’s ocean stretches as far from the east as to the west and still beyond that.
But we can be forgiven from dwelling in a small ocean, the man whose daughter is dying, his ocean was only as big as his daughter. He was trapped in that bubble of sheer love and devotion that any parent will do anything possible so that their child will not suffer, and still Jesus comes along as Jesus knows we were not meant to live in a puddle but in a wide place.... When Jesus heard this, he told Jairus, "Don't worry! Have faith, and your daughter will get well." Luke 8:50
You see Jesus sees what we have, and he sees our heart and what we want to do with that, the widow who had just a few coins she gave them to the temple, although her coins were almost worthless it was all she had. A song I heard recently said it is not what you give but what you keep is what the king is counting. That women had faith that the little she had would contribute towards the bigger picture, for her life was a big ocean, and she lived simply so that others might simply live.
How big is your ocean?
As I sit here in the early hours of the morning listening to a summer storm and the rain lashing on the windows I think of the ocean and wonder how big is my ocean? Well my ocean has been burst open recently I have gone from an ocean in a bucket so condensed with emotions strangling me, I have needed space but at the same time I needed to think about the things that I have done to create this condensed world that I have been living in. I call my thoughts, feelings, God you may call them yourself, but I don’t believe God wanted any of us to sit in a duckpond, but he wanted us to sit in the ocean and experience the vastness and a place where he can drop our troubles into the deep never to be seen again if we are willing to let go of them.
This week I have been meeting up with a young chap who has been foolish and is in trouble, and may go to prison for his foolishness, he feels trapped in a small bucket,.
The question isn’t how big is your ocean but what is going on in your life, is it time to get out of the bucket and take the step into the vastness of life and into freedom? Thats just what I will be doing this week

When are Christians going to stop hiding from "oh I will pray syndrome"

2011-05-09T15:31:00.000-07:00

At least once a month I read something or over hear a situation which ends in someone saying oh yeah I will pray about that.

I am getting worried that this is turning into a syndrome that Christians use when they cannot be bothered to do something which is in their power to do and solve.

For example I heard some people talking and a old lady said oh I fridge has broken and I dont have enough money, the listener said oh I will pray for you.

Last month I saw in action someone say they needed something to help their disability the other person said oh I will pray God sends you the cash.

Why dont we reply, look I will have four less coffee's and one less day holiday and I will speak to some other people and we will raise the cash. God gave us all talents, he gave us the brains to decide when to give someone else our bread.

And its too easy to say, it is a get out clause or maybe something to say then we should perhaps say nothing.

I suppose it is a way that we condition ourselves to believe that other people's issues have nothing to do with us. But if we are to say we will pray for something to happens lets us go without a catch as we have offered something.

I am not saying God wont answer the prayer, but just why are we not more like the early church and share and help each other?

Richard and John

2011-05-09T15:10:00.000-07:00

Two friends of mine are quite ill

One friend of mine doesn't know why his body seems to be fighting all manner of ills, the other friend has fought cancer, and the doctors say he should have died at least two years ago.

Both of them for me are men whom I see strength and perseverence.

Both men could just make excuses but both men have decided to live in the face of pain and hurt.

What amazes me every time I see them is their humility and their grace.

It speaks to me so deeply of my lack of humility and my lack of gratitude of the body I have

Another Day another Dawn

2011-01-26T09:59:00.000-08:00

Its been a long winter for many people this year. Most people now hate the snow when it falls, and I find myself one of the few that still love its purity as it lies on the landscape around us, prompting our minds that change is all around us and we are not in control.

I feel a bit out on control at the moment, I had a seriously amazing year last year, but at the same time let a lot of things get to my core energy stores which have resulted in me running out of power.

Running out of power has meant that I can no longer keep up with the life I had created for myself leaving me run down, depressed and un-resilient to the expected knocks and bumps that life hits us with.

I have allowed my senior managers and leaders to wreck my happiness with believing their spin.

I have allowed myself to work 84 hour weeks trying to press everything into place so that someone might praise our work, only to realise my stupidity for believing that, that could happen.

I have realised that neglecting my own health has left me with poor health, and an uneven path that I tread.

It is time to start picking up the pieces and try and make a new picture of what my life means to me.

That picture will still have God as the centre of my life, with my family around me, then my amazing friends, then work.

The problem with getting so very tired mentally and physically is that one lay in, is not going to cure anything.

But with realising that actually I cannot do everything is ok, that deadlines are going to have to come and go and not be bothered.

I suppose my problem is that I cannot stand by idle when people are falling over and need picking up, but if I pick everyone else up then I myself will fall and who will pick me up.

Its going to be a tough year leaving so many good friends and moving back to the mainland, but I will be doing it as a new man, different, changed and with a new air of reality that I am only human.

Some days

2011-01-02T16:04:00.000-08:00

Some days I wonder what I have done wrong to be treated in the way I am by those above me who are supposed to love and support me

God is there across the waters

2010-09-14T13:47:00.000-07:00

It has been a long year this year for us.

Ben our lovely Boxer dog died after a short fight with cancer and kidney failuer follwed by one of the best things Zachary was born! followed by a naff thing that for the 5th time a promise was broken that we would be funded, and sadly we have lost our partnerships.

I am currently signed of sick with exhaustion, because I find it hard to let people sit in their own vomit. The role of a Christian is not to clean it up, but first sit in it with the other person and let them see you are genuine, and love them enough to sit anywhere with them. It is not about pretending the vomit is there, but actually not caring because all we want to do is care for that one person.

I was asked to produce a new vision for our church...and I cannot as so far it is God who we feel has given us the vision.

Someone in Tesco's a social work, a fab one said to me Tom it may be time to be selfish...

I cannot believe that God has let us get this far only to stop, but I can believe that other people have made our life a misery, because they dont want to sit with us, because they fail to want to see the bigger picture. I feel actually feel so embarrassed to work in this community who have been so good to me...the reason is that a few months ago I addressed a gathering of agencies and told them our funding was in....and now we have been told it is not.

And just as the light house has blinked at us every night for 6 years across the Sound of Bressay. In a blink of that ray I can see God, he has not given up on me, and he is showing me that his light rests on many places and that he still has a place for me in his kingdom, and that I am not the failure I feel.

Light houses were always there, well as Dave would say..(They have not ALWAYS been there), but since light houses have been there, they have showed saftey and danger in the same sweep of light.

They have acted as a warning, and a welcome.

They have acted as a friend and showing where the enemy is lurking.

And it reminds me of who God is to us, he shows us his light and protects us should we want it from the Dark, and when we are ready we need to set our sails and sail, and when told drop our anchors in the places of the deep, and then when asked take the hardest job on any sailing ship and thats man the capstan and slowly raise the anchor, it is the most painful job of sailing.

Is a struggle worthwhile?

2010-08-08T10:29:00.000-07:00

How do we measure life?

Is it full of easy moments?

Is it abit of both, easy and hard?

Does how we live affect others? directly and indirectly?

What do you buy and wear? Where is it made? What are the conditions there?

Are we bothered about our neighbours?

Are we bothered if people dont have enough food to eat?

Yesterday I spent the day at Voe Show, a small but lively agricultural show in the north of the mainland of Shetland.

I was trying to raise money for the work of the army i belong to, and opposite was a territorial army display, where there were no shortage of young boys attracted to the guns.

I have admiration for our guys and gals serving our country in far off places non of us will ever set foot in, but the struggle of war doesnt solve anything. All a gun solves is an early death.

I have days now that I have lost my will to fight, because when your hands are tied behind your back, then you cannot reach out to stop yourself from falling.

The best commanding officers are those who love their fighting units as real people.

I wonder why its so flipping hard to follow Jesus why do other people get in the way, why does the church put up barriers of allowing people serve and love one another, perhaps because it is full of a lot of scared people who have forgotten that the God we worship is alive and has a personality.

I am a bit fed up at the moment, because I am trying to help people as much as possible but all I seem to get is flack, and my flack jacket is not so hot anymore. I do wonder if the grass is greener?

I suppose I am searching again, there must be more to life....

Shoreline, rocks, salt water, sea and a hidden prize

2010-07-31T14:01:00.000-07:00

No one likes being dunked in the water, can your remember as a child someone pushing your head under the water?

It is not a pleasent expereince is it, I mean humans only breath water when they are in the womb, not as adults.

The other day I was driving through Shetland collecting textiles for recyling, as we past some spits of land which were turning into skerries, like the picture with the kyack in it.

At one time those belonged to a finger of land, and slowly the sea eroded that finger till it punched through and left the skerries.

but it does them good to be submersed 4 time a day, as the water brings life, brings nutrients, and life thrives all for a dunking.

As the finger of God points at us and our lives do we volunteer to be dunked like a donut and perhaps come up a new colour, or we life teeming from us? Or do we say to God ok I will follow but I dont want to be pushed.

When I look at the sea shore I always wonder what might be lurking there, something from afar, something to look and in wonder, something that has belonged to someone else? To see the weed growing, to see the life in the making.

The Perfect storm is on tonight, and it is a TV show about the courage people show in the face of Hell on earth, it is a true story about life, the highs and the lows, the love and the grief. Most of those who get dunked are people trying to save others...so if we want those around us to be saved then we must choose...

Filthy Windows & The world God Loves

2010-06-24T08:20:00.000-07:00

I arrived upstairs. with yet another mountain of letters and correspondence which comes through the door daily.
Items which range from letters about letters, about weed killer, to audits for receclying, electric bill for the church, insurance schedule to finish, music license and so on, oh my best letter today was from the dentist asking me if I wanted to stay on the waiting list I have been on for 5 years lol.

I sit and look, and realise my windows are dirty.

I have dirty windows in my study, the world looks dirty, everything seems lost in a haze of dried drips of water.

Now to clean these windows, I have to move my desk, move all my receipts, Move my computer, move all my pictures and model boats (sad I Know, then I can clean the windows.

When God looks at the world he thinks it is good.

When I look at the world I see dirty bits, meaning I can be judgementle in my attitudes to things. However I think sometimes that Jesus is calling us to clean the windows so we may gaze on beauty, as so many are lost in a sea of filth that has been smeared on them, but ot doesnt mean they are unclean, it means their windows need cleaning, it means I need to constantly refocus my vision and look at those around me, and see if I can lend a hand.

The church often champions its clean churches, its clean ways, it often disguards those who dont fit into the system. People forget why they follow Jesus, they start to see through fogged up glasses, fogged up by years of chuchism, slwly slowly we hide so people cannot see in, and we cannot see out.

Church needs to refocus, and Remember it is not their to have smoke effects but Spirit effects

Love where you least expect it

2010-01-19T01:21:00.000-08:00

one of our puppies is in an animal hospital because he is ill, he had a lump in his lung, and also some kind of infection, been in glasgow for a few days, it has been heartbreaking to see him poorly, I am not usually such an emotional thing, but he is our boy, from a pup, he is the youngest in the family and he is very much a part of who we are as a unit.

Every day I get to take him for a walk, and let him see that we have not abandoned him, want to keep him as happy as possible so that he will fight the infection and heal.

Love where you least expect it, the animal hospital of the whole have been very proffessional, and are well equipped to deal with his needs, I rang out vets this morning, and after giving them an update they asked me how I was, was I doing ok....love is in many places, suddenly realised that Lerwick vets are there to support the dogy and the person hanging on the end of the lead.

It is not that I think they are just a vets working in Lerwick, only caring about sticking needles in animals to make them better, but here are the same people I see in the Uni animal hospital, people with compassion and love to heal and give life to, did our vet realise this morning that he showed the same love and care as Jesus does to anyone who wants shelter from the storm?

Perhaps not, but I value people who step out of the bubble and risk a rebuff to make sure that someone is ok.

Thanks Jim

Ashamed of my Wealth?

2009-12-25T15:20:00.000-08:00

The giving of Christmas Presents is a sign of wealth, that we have extra to be able to offer someome else something of worth, and still manage to put food onto the table.

I am not ungrateful for all the wonderful presents that people have put great thought into for me this year, but after having watched a film tonight, I again realise that I am living in a world and a country that sometimes makes me ashamed that I have been given gifts.

Hotel Rwanda is a deep, painful film about the Rwanda genocide, the terror, the shame of countries of the west standing back to allow terrible acts of violence from people to people.

One of the most disturbing quotes in the film I felt was between the main actor (Don Cheadle)to a journalist Don Cheadle says, something like, wont the west do something about this and come to our rescue...the journalist replies, families will be in the middle of their dinner listen to the news and continue with their dinner... That was / is me, that cuts me quite deep.

On Thursday evening in the Salvation Army in my 5.7 min thought for Christmas Eve, I questioned whether God felt enough was enough and sent Jesus, so that we may learn from God himself how to treat others.

Because we really need to learn how to make peace, a friend of mine, a great friend of mine said to me the other day peace doesnt start on the battlefield, it starts in you, and in me.

Some people tell me God doesnt exist, and while I have my days where i struggle, I realise that the people we try and meet the needs of here in Shetland, the food we give to the hungry, the clothing we give out to the naked, the love we give to the lonely that if God did not exist well I would not be here in Shetland doing these things because I believe that God called me here, I only found out about this place in a church.

Some people ask me why God's basically allows sh*t to happen, why does he let me stuff my face with jelly babies while real babies cry out for milk and die. But I believe God blessed the world with enough resources that all my live, but it is up to all of us how we use your money.

Some people get their pleasure from playing golf, from digging up old bones, from getting the latest car, to going on expensive holidays, for buying great clothes... it would be great if we found the gift of pleasure again, and gave so others might live.

That is why 'A NEW WAY' is needed, a way which loves all its neighbours both the ones which have dimonds in them and those which dont. Do we really need money in all abundance or do we want to look back on our lives and take a deep breath, then slowly allow a smile to spread from ear to ear that we lived and blessed other people?

How you live your life is up to you......

The rain lalalalalala

2009-11-14T12:11:00.000-08:00

I just checked the weather map

The two clouds shown above show that it supposed to be cloudy here right now not rain lashing on my windows.

Is shetland a wealthy place to live?

Tide is Turning

2009-10-05T06:21:00.000-07:00

The Tide IS turning

2009-10-05T05:24:00.000-07:00

It has been a really odd month, some real heart break, some tough decisions to work through and a lot of revision and some great input from people who care about me. Today is such an amazing day, the sun is out, providing as a top up for vit D, and a kind of awakening, that all is not lost. In every battle there is a turning point, perhaps not always the way we would like it to turn. Pearl harbour was a turning point in WW2 as it brought the might of the Americans into the war, however it was not a turning point which was wanted with so many lives destroyed. William Booth the founder of the Salvation Army activily spoke about being in a war, but one that is spiritual against the destructive powers of sin, against the devil, he was a leader who rose above others and helped bring about a turning point in society that saw the very poor welcome in Churches accross the UK, something which had stopped happening because they didnt fit in. It is time to look at all of our lives and consider all the times we have seen a turning point, and if we look honestly at our lives we will see that a turning point comes when we have felt the heat of the battle against our skin, when it feels like all hope is lost, something changes, something is broken. For me I am reminded of who I gave my life to those years ago....he said my way is easy... it is some days, it isnt all the time though, but to have friends around me, helps me recover and sharpen myself so I am effective again. A song which has really been with me these last few weeks is called mighty to save, I like it because the muscians are good, even if you dont like the words it has an amazing tune. Everyone needs compassion, everyone needs forgiveness, and I need someone who can move moutains for me, sometimes held in my mind. Take me as you find me all my fears and failings.

Petronordic is back in the community

2009-09-23T11:07:00.000-07:00

I was wondering today if the company of the petro tankers moored in the bay should charge people in Gulberwick for supplying the extra orange light at night, so much so that depending on where they are moored I can do my gardening at night!

I twas in Aberdoodle with some friends the early part of the week where Tori and I went out for a meal and talked.

Today I have made scones and caramel shortbread.

I also walked on the beach and picked up a carrier bag of prescriptions up for me!

My brain is starting to realise that we have some time off, and I can think about where our future lays, where, and why. God is giving some ideas, nothing concrete yet.

Is it time for a change my Doctor asked me today, got me thinking it might be.

Boats Petronordic and Petroatlantic moored in Gulber Bay

2009-09-18T09:14:00.000-07:00

Driving back from having an injection in my arse and saw these too large tankers.

Waiting to be used

2009-09-17T06:04:00.000-07:00

Here are some photos today of things waiting to be used, something on my heart at the moment and in my mind, is that I dont want to be like the old boat on one of the pictures, just falling to bits.

At the moment I feel that I am just waiting to be discarded instead of being used in a positive way, but I wont wait for ever, I am like the nets seen piled up, I want to be cast out again, be released to serve, not caged to rot

Leadership

2009-09-07T14:47:00.000-07:00

In the work I do, I often have to attend conferences and training events which are about leadership, in fact it seems to be forced down your throat at as many opportunities that are possible.

However tonight I saw a different kind of leadership all together.

A true, leader is someone who can re-join the team (the others) without undermining the new leader in cocky or sarcastic remarks.

I saw this happen tonight, someone who has been a leader both in the community and as a leader of a group of about 70 people of all ages. A new 'leader' had been appointed, the one from before without a quiver slotted back into a space available.

Sadly this is the first time for about 10 years I have seen this happen...what does that mean? There are not many true leaders? Or ?

I am going to keep my opinion to myself, but it is worth reflecting on.

New Life catches you

2009-09-07T03:02:00.001-07:00

New life catches your eye doesn't it?

I was on my way home recently and on my way to the terminal building at Aberdeen airport I passed a little Black Lab puppy which was being coaxed out of it's flight box and onto the grass for a leg stretch and perhaps a tinkle.

The puppy slowly, crept from the crate, it's defense, it's present home and walked in a dizzy way, realising he had legs that worked.

He stopped sat on his bum and tried to scratch his ear, but with all the effort he lost his balance and flopped over.

Autumn is a time when nature slows, dies back, gives up it's fruit for harvest and gives us some of the most amazing colours we have ever seen, new life in Autumn sticks out like a sore thumb.

New life now at this time of year is something 'growing against the grain' something different something that we all want to reach out and touch, maybe even take a bit home as something that will help us see out the long dark winter.

The thing is, new life exists in all seasons, but we need to look for it, we need to want to entertain it and allow it to pass something back to us.

This week, look for the colours, the change in the air, and look more closely for what lives, and is going to help you enter the next seasons ahead, and keep your soul alive.

No more room at the Inn

2009-08-07T03:06:00.000-07:00

How many boxers can you fit on a sofa

Textile Recyling Shetland

2009-08-07T02:44:00.000-07:00

We decided to do the environment a favour.

Give the people in Shetland a choice of where their clothes go, and where the money comes back to.

Do something to fund the work we do here, without shaking a tin in front of someones face.

And it helps me keep fit too!

Life booooooooooooooooooooooat

2009-08-07T02:28:00.001-07:00

As you do, I was in town the other day and the life boat shot off like a fart out of a dogs bum...

No that doesnt sound very nice, but I was amazed at their timing for getting underway, thank God for the life boat men and women.

oooo and the coastguard and those helicopter peoples

Jumble sale - my mind?

2009-08-07T02:21:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time since I have posted anything, I have been away a few times and working hard on an assignment for a renewable energy course I am trying to fathom.

I was struck this morning looking at a cloud drifting across the bay,

I am mesmorised by clouds like this,

They are a cloud, but

They are seperated from all the rest, wanting to hug the ground in some way or other.

The island of Bressay has all but dissapeared in front of me, with just the two tv masts sticking out of the cloud.

I am stuck at the moment with a problem.... do we or dont we

Is it summer yet?

2009-05-17T06:58:00.000-07:00

Last week I could have sworn summer had arrived as my lawn is growing.

However we have had a storm blow from the east... as a more or less reliable soul told me a few days before.

It did get me thinking again, when does summer ever stay with us for longer than expected?

Some people go all over the world chasing summers, and paying vast amounts of money in the process.

Some of my thoughts went on for longer...

What constitutes a summer in the lives that all of us live?

How could we define something as a summer?

Which discourses such as jobs/relationships/social contacts are going on at the time?

The thing is, I like the summer, it is warm, and I can save money and turn the heating off , if I use a hose I can get things to grow quicker, more people I know are happier, more visitors come here, people want to spend time outside, life just seems so great, yet we need the other seasons to allow everything to work.

I suppose you may know what I am going to say....

We need the other seasons in our lives, if we just had a season of summer, we would eventually get bored of it, there would be no challenge and in the end no water left either.

This week I put another advert in the paper it said something about come and join us with the joy of cancelling the sermon, it also asked us to think about what church looks like, and if God (if you believe in him), also likes what 'the church' looks like in these days... do they match?

Does the Church that we do match the one Christ intended?

Some days I am not entirely sure they do match.

Some people dont want the church around, yet in crisis more people turn to us more than anything else why?

The money tree above defies life, on one side it is a living thing, grown from a seed of some type and grown by elements which are not ours to be owned. Its leaves are made of money, which in many ways is the destruction of what life is all about, because you can never ever grow enough of it.

Enjoy each season, perhaps consider what holds them all together.

What is a successful Church?

2009-03-21T12:32:00.000-07:00

A friend and I over coffee and two french pastries were trying to discuss that a succesful church looks like!

Is it big?

Is it full of the best musical people?

Is its back balance well into the black?

Does it have everything it wants?

or is it small

Is it people in one home sharing a meal?

Is it people willing to leave their home on a saturday afternoon to feed the poor?

Is it disorganised?

Does it look scatty from the outside?

Both these points come to one central point... what is a succesful church focused on? Being succesful or Being Christ Centered...

What is being Christ centred?

The image of the book is something I have just read and it has changed my perception of God and church to something better than it was before. It is a fiction book

Mothers Day / Mothering Sunday

2009-03-21T12:28:00.000-07:00

Mothering Sunday is a term that one can often hear in relation to mother's day. It falls on the fourth Sunday in the Lent season. Today, this holiday has a different meaning, which is basically to honor the mothers. It is interesting to explore facts about the history of mothering Sunday. Well, traditionally it was celebrated as a day, when the domestic maids were relieved from their services for one day, to let them go back home to meet their mother and other family members.

This traditional day is now celebrated on a large scale and has become highly commercialized. As a part of mothering Sunday traditions and customs, the kids present their moms with exquisite homemade cards and other gifts. Also it is a day when men and women go to mother church to offer prayers. Couple of centuries ago, it was like a trend that everyone had to go to visit mother church or the main church once a year.

It is also known as refreshment holiday, because after a long period of fasting, there is a relaxation in the rule for one day. The main food item consists of yummy mouthwatering Simnel Cake, which is basically a fruitcake with almond paste topping on it. Enjoy the mothering Sunday with your dear mother and express her, how precious she is.

It was a while ago but

2009-03-19T14:26:00.000-07:00

As da wind rattles the boards of the house, I shy my eyes towards the silvery pass,
Tonight the moon is yonder high. Large, full and yet hidden in the sweeps of cloud on high.
Across the bay my head is wrought, to the disturbance of a light of sorts,
Tonight the waters of the bay, are glimmering, and shadows cast astray,
Is this just of light reflected?
Is, this nature’s way of declaration, this silver disturbance across the bay like a carpet woven in an affray,
Beaconing my eye to wonder at a moon so full, a silver so wonderful and full

Pictures of a visit to the sally in london

2009-03-19T14:23:00.001-07:00

This visit was for a meeting in South London, we wish Shetland was allowed to look like this.... alas without a lot of backing locally we will have to wait!

About time to post

2009-03-19T14:04:00.000-07:00

It has been such a long time since I lasted posted, mostly as I have been quite busy with degree studdies and assignments as well as having the car keyed, re sprayed and then stuff. Still suffering from post viral fatigue after shingles, and well a bit over loaded.However I went to a little Up helly ah and I am sure some people will have issues with me, but I quite liked it!

I had quite a good evening.

Here are some of the pictures.

2009-01-05T14:37:00.001-08:00

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Sunrise this morning

2009-01-04T06:52:00.000-08:00

paris
four boxers
sunset from my study window
my dools

Violins

2009-01-04T04:15:00.000-08:00

I have just found my violin I used to play when I was 14, it has taken me all morning to tune the wretched thing, and in the end needed a little help from the mini mouth organ which plays notes A E D G.

I then tried playing and realised I badly needed some instruction or to issue everyone in my house with ear defenders or one of the capsules they gave agents in WW2.

Serously though, it got me a bit inspired, and made me think of all the notes you can play off those four strings, that in life some people have found a foundation that they can spring the rest of their life from. But it takes practice life in all fullness doesnt come all in one go, it takes time, stress, fighting and also resting for it to come and work into a beautiful tune which is beautiful to other people.

Jesus spent many years learning customs and ways of man before he started to speak, to lead, to admonish but the love he had was there before and after.

The world right this moment is coming to life around me, Bristow helicopters flying over my head, and a small trawler making its way into the harbour.

For the Helicopter to fly it must have a good foundation of mechanical expertise behind it, and a pilot trained to understand and feel the air and movements and then give his reactions, the fishing boat needs also a foundation of a good builder, no leaks and a good mechanical person as well as a captain who understand have to steer her in a swell.

When we find ourselves in a deep swell, or we find we are flying in turbulance or we miss a note, what do we hang on to? the bananna we just ate or something must deeper within us. Is it Spiritual? I mean I am not saying it has to be God, I am just asking is that thing we hang onto something deep and meaningful? a strength beyond that of our own, some kind of foundation?

When I look at the world infront of me, even perhaps my own community, I almost cry for the hurt and pain.

You know I was in Tesco last night buying UHT milk and being annoyed I couldnt buy fresh, and thought I am so lucky just to have UHT.

I saw some adverts for 50" Plasma TV screens and wondered about how many lives they would save from the jaws of death how many starving children they would save, how many child soliders it would save, all for watching some 10" less....why have i never thought about that... how through my actions I could be giving people a death sentance through whether we have a dyson vacume cleaner or manage with the old one?

One of the problems in the world is the foundation of of evil, in that we allow ourselves to be counselled in the ways of man, in the way of materialsm in that we start to defend our actions and tell ourselves it is ok....did you know the amount of money americans spend of icecream each year could help cancel thrid world debt?

How can we live that others might live?

If we live, will others simply be able to live?

ITS HERE HAPPY NEW YEAR

2009-01-01T14:14:00.000-08:00

Its here the fireworks which almost burn the house down in the process, isn't life just wonderful.

Had a chat with an old mate today who said he was praying for me but didnt believe in God, thats fabtastic, dont know how it works but its great.

Something I came across today "As da wind rattles the boards of the house, I shy my eyes towards the silvery pass,
Tonight the moon is yonder high. Large, full and yet hidden in the sweeps of cloud on high.
Across the bay my head is wrought, to the disturbance of a light of sorts,
Tonight the waters of the bay, are glimmering, and shadows cast astray,
Is this just of light reflected glare? Or is this nature’s way of declaration, this silver disturbance across the bay like a carpet woven in a wild affray,
Beaconing my eye to wonder at a moon so full, so silver and never dull"

Its the coming of the new year

2008-12-31T08:39:00.000-08:00

From my study window I can see a small farm track, and I often wonder if I am allowed to walk on it or not. I dont suppose anyone would mind...also I can see an old graveyard which stands right on the edge a cliff of Gulberwick Bay.

Something that always strikes me as being on is that I always thought that wick meant 'bay' and so when people say "Gulberwick Bay" they are actually saying "Gulber Bay Bay"

see: Wick \Wick\, or Wich \Wich\, n. [AS. w[=i]c village, fr. L. vicus. In some names of places, perhaps fr. Icel. v[=i]k an inlet, creek, bay.... i suppose it could also mean a candle wick or Wick derives from Norwegian "vik", meaning "bay". or even In short, -wick means "a place where goods are traded" or simply "a market"
"Vik" is an old scandinavian word meaning "cove" (or "bay")

So names are important, but more importantly is to remember the importance of understanding names and descriptions, why we do things, what leads us there, and also sometimes we embark on a journey and forget the reason we are on it.

This blog is my thoughts and feelings of a journey I am on, people that I meet and situations I come across.

I came to Shetland as I felt God called me here throught the ministry of the Salvation Army. I love most of it (Shetland Islands), but if I forget who led me here and why, then my journey is worthless and useless.

My journey is supposed to be part of a relationship with Jesus, not a relationship with the church as such. In my times of pondering or as i call it ponderisation I consider whether it would be easier for people to see Jesus without which we call church.... ie all the religous bits, but then its all in a name isnt it because the church or kirk (scottish church) just means body of people worshiping Christ, which is where body of Christ came from.

The church or kirk is not a building at all. It is people.

Over Chrsitmas I over did it, about the 4th time this year, but this time my body said it was enough, so I am now having to take time off to rest.

It got me thinking though, about looking back at the footsteps in the track and see if those of my saviour are beside me, or that I had started to wander, a little apart.

That track which I can see from my window sometimes looks easier than the one I tred, but thats because my eyes are no longer on the companion I journey with.

The body of Christ is supposed to be there as lights to those who dont know their creator... sometimes I wonder how much if any light people show, and how much light actually escapes our bricks and mortar which we have made so lovely inside for ourselves and those brave enough to enter